A little bit of stat work...

So we are just one day away from 20 weeks of Mistress R having total control of my orgasms. In that period I have been allowed to cum 10 times, so that gives us an average of one orgasm every two weeks.

However, if we disregard the first month (April) the average falls from one orgasm every 14 days to one orgasm every 20 days!

Of those ten orgasms, only three have been inside Mistress R.

My longest wait between orgasms was 28 days, the shortest 6 (twice).

Over the same period Mistress R has enjoyed 44 orgasms!

The longest gap was 7 days, the shortest 2 days (many times).

The most orgasms Mistress R has had in one month was 10 (May and July), the most I have had in a month was 4 (April).

The least orgasms in one month was 8 for Mistress R (April) and 1 for me (June).

So far this month Mistress R has had seven orgasms and it looks very likely to be a new record. I have had one orgasm, and I wouldn't be surprised if my next one wasn't until September.

A little bit of stat work...

So we are just one day away from 20 weeks of Mistress R having total control of my orgasms. In that period I have been allowed to cum 10 times, so that gives us an average of one orgasm every two weeks.

However, if we disregard the first month (April) the average falls from one orgasm every 14 days to one orgasm every 20 days!

Of those ten orgasms, only three have been inside Mistress R.

My longest wait between orgasms was 28 days, the shortest 6 (twice).

Over the same period Mistress R has enjoyed 44 orgasms!

The longest gap was 7 days, the shortest 2 days (many times).

The most orgasms Mistress R has had in one month was 10 (May and July), the most I have had in a month was 4 (April).

The least orgasms in one month was 8 for Mistress R (April) and 1 for me (June).

So far this month Mistress R has had seven orgasms and it looks very likely to be a new record. I have had one orgasm, and I wouldn't be surprised if my next one wasn't until September.

CAPTION: Nice and slow...

CAPTION: Nice and slow...

Learning to love it...

Another excellent post on Good Hubby's blog today, and something which really resonated with me...

"My chastity fantasy has two parts.  One part is for the control to be hers, no matter her decision. The other part is that, at some point, I be subjected to lengthy denial, that we get to a point where I am truly asking her to allow me to cum, because I don’t want to hold back anymore, and she tells me that she wants me to wait. That if the decision is truly hers, then I cannot have an orgasm..."

This is so on the money, and I so get where he's coming from here. Because it's one thing for someone to deny you when they know that's what you want, it's quite another for them to deny you for their own pleasure. But as Good Hubby explains further it seems that his wife NW is moving towards just that...

"...that wasn’t going to happen as long as the control/denial wasn’t a facet that she was invested in. But here we have her openly stating that she was enjoying it. So, I prodded further. In essence, she has not allowed herself to become invested in the idea. She was afraid that she would really get into it and that the control would become the expected norm, for her, but that I might end it at any time. What then? She would have primed and re-wired herself to have complete control over my orgasms, only to have the rug yanked from beneath her feet.  And, believe it or not, what this really tied back into was masturbation. Her fear that I would, at some point, burn out on this and revert back to old ways. When things were not so intense. And she would find herself left hanging.
She wants the control. She wants to deny me. She has bought into it!"

Which means that GoodHubby is now faced with a somewhat difficult choice, does he freely give over complete control, knowing that his wife is ready to deny him for her own pleasure rather than his own? Or, what... I don't know what the alternative is, as he hasn't really made this clear. Now of course, my initial reaction is of course YES YES YES! Because for me that sounds like perfection. But Mr Good Hubby is by his own admission a colossal wanker* (4 times a day on average, pre-chastity), and he deems a week without coming quite a long time, so it's different for him. And reading his blog I'm not so sure that he's really ready for that kind of control. It'll certainly be interesting to see what happens from here on.

As far as Mistress R goes, I don't think she's got to the stage of denying me solely for her pleasure yet, but I hope that one day she will. Like Good Hubby I would love to get to the stage where I was truly desperate to cum but she still said no, because it pleased her to keep me in denial. Do you know what, just typing that has made my cock so fucking hard...

*Some jokes just never get old.

Learning to love it...

Another excellent post on Good Hubby's blog today, and something which really resonated with me...

"My chastity fantasy has two parts.  One part is for the control to be hers, no matter her decision. The other part is that, at some point, I be subjected to lengthy denial, that we get to a point where I am truly asking her to allow me to cum, because I don’t want to hold back anymore, and she tells me that she wants me to wait. That if the decision is truly hers, then I cannot have an orgasm..."

This is so on the money, and I so get where he's coming from here. Because it's one thing for someone to deny you when they know that's what you want, it's quite another for them to deny you for their own pleasure. But as Good Hubby explains further it seems that his wife NW is moving towards just that...

"...that wasn’t going to happen as long as the control/denial wasn’t a facet that she was invested in. But here we have her openly stating that she was enjoying it. So, I prodded further. In essence, she has not allowed herself to become invested in the idea. She was afraid that she would really get into it and that the control would become the expected norm, for her, but that I might end it at any time. What then? She would have primed and re-wired herself to have complete control over my orgasms, only to have the rug yanked from beneath her feet.  And, believe it or not, what this really tied back into was masturbation. Her fear that I would, at some point, burn out on this and revert back to old ways. When things were not so intense. And she would find herself left hanging.
She wants the control. She wants to deny me. She has bought into it!"

Which means that GoodHubby is now faced with a somewhat difficult choice, does he freely give over complete control, knowing that his wife is ready to deny him for her own pleasure rather than his own? Or, what... I don't know what the alternative is, as he hasn't really made this clear. Now of course, my initial reaction is of course YES YES YES! Because for me that sounds like perfection. But Mr Good Hubby is by his own admission a colossal wanker* (4 times a day on average, pre-chastity), and he deems a week without coming quite a long time, so it's different for him. And reading his blog I'm not so sure that he's really ready for that kind of control. It'll certainly be interesting to see what happens from here on.

As far as Mistress R goes, I don't think she's got to the stage of denying me solely for her pleasure yet, but I hope that one day she will. Like Good Hubby I would love to get to the stage where I was truly desperate to cum but she still said no, because it pleased her to keep me in denial. Do you know what, just typing that has made my cock so fucking hard...

*Some jokes just never get old.

What is confusing...

Reading back my own posts, what does confuse me a little, is quite why I am happy to give Mistress R control of my orgasms? For her to decide, when and how and even 'if'... surely after nearly four months without even a break, I should be starting to have second thoughts, or feeling the tiniest regret or resentment, shouldn't I?
But I'm not. Not at all. I have never been happier, and I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to have control of my orgasms back. Oh sure, I fucked up the other night and stroked my cock without permission, but I never for a second thought about actually making myself cum. Well, I mean I thought about it, but I was never, EVER going to do it!
Maybe one day this will change, but right now I very much doubt it. This feels very 'right', which in itself is a strange thing to say I suppose... but that's just the way it is. I love it, and I love my Mistress more than ever, so why would I want to go back to the old way?
Fortunately Mistress is getting more and more comfortable with the situation too, which is fantastic, because let's not forget, it really didn't start well, and she seems to be loving the way things are now too. But then let us not forget, not only has male chastity given her an even more attentive and loving husband than ever before, not only has it given her complete control of our sex lives, but it has also provided a turning point in her husband's long lasting struggle with his weight.
Okay, so the dream of being 'locked' hasn't happened, and probably won't happen now, but you know what, I don't really care anymore.

What is confusing...

Reading back my own posts, what does confuse me a little, is quite why I am happy to give Mistress R control of my orgasms? For her to decide, when and how and even 'if'... surely after nearly four months without even a break, I should be starting to have second thoughts, or feeling the tiniest regret or resentment, shouldn't I?
But I'm not. Not at all. I have never been happier, and I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to have control of my orgasms back. Oh sure, I fucked up the other night and stroked my cock without permission, but I never for a second thought about actually making myself cum. Well, I mean I thought about it, but I was never, EVER going to do it!
Maybe one day this will change, but right now I very much doubt it. This feels very 'right', which in itself is a strange thing to say I suppose... but that's just the way it is. I love it, and I love my Mistress more than ever, so why would I want to go back to the old way?
Fortunately Mistress is getting more and more comfortable with the situation too, which is fantastic, because let's not forget, it really didn't start well, and she seems to be loving the way things are now too. But then let us not forget, not only has male chastity given her an even more attentive and loving husband than ever before, not only has it given her complete control of our sex lives, but it has also provided a turning point in her husband's long lasting struggle with his weight.
Okay, so the dream of being 'locked' hasn't happened, and probably won't happen now, but you know what, I don't really care anymore.

Needless to say...

...I'm feeling pretty damn chipper this morning, save for the lack of sleep (yet again). Last night was truly a wonderful (and totally unexpected) way to end my latest period of chastity. There I was thinking I was going to get paddled for my naughtiness and I end up having the hardest, longest, most amazing orgasm I can ever remember (not that I'm thinking for a minute that my indescretion will not go unpunished come Sunday).
As several of you comment-leavers have said, there's nothing like an orgasm after an extended period of denial, and if it was solely up to me, I reckon about one orgasm a month is a nice figure. But of course it isn't up to me, and I am still looking forward to being denied longer, maybe an orgasm after two months will be twice as nice?
So where does that leave us, with regard to Sunday's session? The answer of course is that I really don't know. Mistress R has seemingly totally embraced the idea that my orgasms are 100% in her hands and that she doesn't have to take account of the session, or anything else for that matter. The rules are simple, if she wants me to cum, I will cum, if she doesn't, then I won't. If she does want me to cum, then she decides when, how and whether I have to swallow it afterwards. And that's pretty much all there is to it.

Needless to say...

...I'm feeling pretty damn chipper this morning, save for the lack of sleep (yet again). Last night was truly a wonderful (and totally unexpected) way to end my latest period of chastity. There I was thinking I was going to get paddled for my naughtiness and I end up having the hardest, longest, most amazing orgasm I can ever remember (not that I'm thinking for a minute that my indescretion will not go unpunished come Sunday).
As several of you comment-leavers have said, there's nothing like an orgasm after an extended period of denial, and if it was solely up to me, I reckon about one orgasm a month is a nice figure. But of course it isn't up to me, and I am still looking forward to being denied longer, maybe an orgasm after two months will be twice as nice?
So where does that leave us, with regard to Sunday's session? The answer of course is that I really don't know. Mistress R has seemingly totally embraced the idea that my orgasms are 100% in her hands and that she doesn't have to take account of the session, or anything else for that matter. The rules are simple, if she wants me to cum, I will cum, if she doesn't, then I won't. If she does want me to cum, then she decides when, how and whether I have to swallow it afterwards. And that's pretty much all there is to it.

Following up on the last post...

So last night as I posted, Mistress R and I discussed the whole 'Femdom session' issue, with regards to the fact that the sessions have always resulted in an orgasm for me and how that was creating an issue now that I had hit the 28 days barrier, and how could Mistress make me wait longer because the sessions would get in the way.
Mistress was seeking reassurance that I was indeed happy to let go of that last 'safety-net' and put my orgasms completely in her hands. This is great, but it does throw up a couple of other things which may need further clarification.
During our discussion Mistress asked me if she should leave some kind of build up period, kind of like we used to do in the early days, a three or four day stint of chastity before the session. Having thought about this I don't think this is particularly necessary, I was going to say that she should not let me cum the day before the session, but there's no good reason for that, and since she now fully understands that she can let me cum whenever she likes, there's nothing to stop her having me cum two days in a row if that's what she chooses.
As far as I am concerned there simply is no right or wrong time, there is only when she decides, and if she later decides it was the wrong time, well it's not the end of the world is it.
The other thing that occurred to me this morning was that since the 30th of April I have cum three times, twice in the session and once inside her (which sadly didn't result in a cream pie for me). I know I have said this before, repeatedly, but now it's even more important since I am just as likely to cum out of a session than in one.
Every time I came in session for the last year or so, Mistress has had me lick my cum off her hands, feet or breasts (licking your cum off your Mistress's breasts is fucking hot let me tell you!) and I want her to be 100% confident that EVERY time I am allowed to cum, whenever that may be, she can make me swallow it if she wants to. As far as I am concerned I have 100% accepted that every chance to cum is potentially going to lead to me cleaning it up with my tongue, and I am totally fine with it. And if I have been allowed to cum inside her, then I am more than fine with it, I am positively eager to clean her pussy with my tongue.
I can't think of anything which demonstrates my submission to Mistress R more effectively than swallowing my own cum, and one day I hope she will have me swallow the proceeds of a ruined orgasm, thereby underlining her complete and utter control of my cock and orgasms...

Following up on the last post...

So last night as I posted, Mistress R and I discussed the whole 'Femdom session' issue, with regards to the fact that the sessions have always resulted in an orgasm for me and how that was creating an issue now that I had hit the 28 days barrier, and how could Mistress make me wait longer because the sessions would get in the way.
Mistress was seeking reassurance that I was indeed happy to let go of that last 'safety-net' and put my orgasms completely in her hands. This is great, but it does throw up a couple of other things which may need further clarification.
During our discussion Mistress asked me if she should leave some kind of build up period, kind of like we used to do in the early days, a three or four day stint of chastity before the session. Having thought about this I don't think this is particularly necessary, I was going to say that she should not let me cum the day before the session, but there's no good reason for that, and since she now fully understands that she can let me cum whenever she likes, there's nothing to stop her having me cum two days in a row if that's what she chooses.
As far as I am concerned there simply is no right or wrong time, there is only when she decides, and if she later decides it was the wrong time, well it's not the end of the world is it.
The other thing that occurred to me this morning was that since the 30th of April I have cum three times, twice in the session and once inside her (which sadly didn't result in a cream pie for me). I know I have said this before, repeatedly, but now it's even more important since I am just as likely to cum out of a session than in one.
Every time I came in session for the last year or so, Mistress has had me lick my cum off her hands, feet or breasts (licking your cum off your Mistress's breasts is fucking hot let me tell you!) and I want her to be 100% confident that EVERY time I am allowed to cum, whenever that may be, she can make me swallow it if she wants to. As far as I am concerned I have 100% accepted that every chance to cum is potentially going to lead to me cleaning it up with my tongue, and I am totally fine with it. And if I have been allowed to cum inside her, then I am more than fine with it, I am positively eager to clean her pussy with my tongue.
I can't think of anything which demonstrates my submission to Mistress R more effectively than swallowing my own cum, and one day I hope she will have me swallow the proceeds of a ruined orgasm, thereby underlining her complete and utter control of my cock and orgasms...

The transgression counter....

As you may or may not have noticed, it hasn't (or has, depending on how you look at it) been terribly succesful. In as much as I haven't used it yet!
It's strange, but I find that writing things on a blog makes things easier to stick to, like my diet. Tedious as it is, writing down every single thing I eat and drink every day, makes it so much easier to stick to my calorie targets. But I have tried writing things down before but without success, I am at somewhat of a loss to explain why writing them down on a blog should make so much difference.
And so it has been with the Transgression Counter also. Not touching my cock was something I found incredibly difficult even though I knew I would be paddled for it, and yet simply knowing that I would have to confess to my blog seems to have done the trick. Bizarre.
That said I haven't been feeling massively horny lately, despite my chastity, but then I should expect next week to see the temperature rise a bit, the first two weeks are generally easier than the third and fourth. Also I've been quite tired of late, too many late nights and I actually overslept quite badly this morning too (fortunately I am working alone this week so I got away with it!).
That's assuming there is a third and fourth week of course, as who knows when Mistress R might decide to let me cum. There is certainly some fun for her on the cards tonight, but as for me, well I'll just have to wait and see. I can see from the poll results so far that you lot reckon I'm going to be waiting until August, but maybe that's just wishful thinking on your parts? Well, only one person in the whole world knows the answer to that... which is just the way it should be.

The transgression counter....

As you may or may not have noticed, it hasn't (or has, depending on how you look at it) been terribly succesful. In as much as I haven't used it yet!
It's strange, but I find that writing things on a blog makes things easier to stick to, like my diet. Tedious as it is, writing down every single thing I eat and drink every day, makes it so much easier to stick to my calorie targets. But I have tried writing things down before but without success, I am at somewhat of a loss to explain why writing them down on a blog should make so much difference.
And so it has been with the Transgression Counter also. Not touching my cock was something I found incredibly difficult even though I knew I would be paddled for it, and yet simply knowing that I would have to confess to my blog seems to have done the trick. Bizarre.
That said I haven't been feeling massively horny lately, despite my chastity, but then I should expect next week to see the temperature rise a bit, the first two weeks are generally easier than the third and fourth. Also I've been quite tired of late, too many late nights and I actually overslept quite badly this morning too (fortunately I am working alone this week so I got away with it!).
That's assuming there is a third and fourth week of course, as who knows when Mistress R might decide to let me cum. There is certainly some fun for her on the cards tonight, but as for me, well I'll just have to wait and see. I can see from the poll results so far that you lot reckon I'm going to be waiting until August, but maybe that's just wishful thinking on your parts? Well, only one person in the whole world knows the answer to that... which is just the way it should be.

New page added...

I've added a new tab at the top of the blog which takes you to an orgasm statistic page, this shows all the orgasms Mistress R and I have since April 1st 2011 (you'll notice on Mistress R's I've allowed for the numbers to go into the thousands, whereas mine only go to the hundreds...).
Looking at those numbers is quite, well... surprising I guess. I can't believe it's been nearly seven weeks since I was allowed to cum inside Mistress R. At least she let me inside her last week...
Also, I've just noticed the increasing disparity in the ratio between Mistress R's orgasms and my own.
2/1 in April, 5/1 in May and 9/1 in June...

Oh, and welcome to my two new followers, hope you enjoy the blog.

New page added...

I've added a new tab at the top of the blog which takes you to an orgasm statistic page, this shows all the orgasms Mistress R and I have since April 1st 2011 (you'll notice on Mistress R's I've allowed for the numbers to go into the thousands, whereas mine only go to the hundreds...).
Looking at those numbers is quite, well... surprising I guess. I can't believe it's been nearly seven weeks since I was allowed to cum inside Mistress R. At least she let me inside her last week...
Also, I've just noticed the increasing disparity in the ratio between Mistress R's orgasms and my own.
2/1 in April, 5/1 in May and 9/1 in June...

Oh, and welcome to my two new followers, hope you enjoy the blog.

How far is too far...

Don't worry, I'm not about to tread on anyone's toes here, this post is just about my own personal limits and what I think is reasonable and what is not. If you disagree that's fine, I make no judgements about your personal opinions and levels of kink, however this for me, is one example of going too far...

You know, back in the day I remember my old Dad saying to me, "Son," he said. "When your bollocks are by your knees, you've gone to far.. "
Okay, he didn't really say that. But that's a hell of a picture isn't it? Fucking hell. I mean, I'm all for ball stretching (especially if like me you are what my doctor described as a 'very high rider'), maybe a couple of inches so that you can comfortably wear a chastity device, but that really is taking things too far. I'm not too keen on the piercing either, actually... but that's another debate.
So anyway, I was thinking about things I've done, things I haven't done, things I'd like to do, things I definitely don't want to do and things that confuse me because they turn me on even though I'm not sure why! Of course, when you think of things like that, you end up ranking your levels of perversion and someone else might look at that and say (for example) I can't believe you wouldn't wear women's pants but you would let your Mistress pee in your mouth!
Which is a perfectly reasonable argument, one is completely and utterly harmless, painless and really not that big a deal, whereas the other one is harmless, painless but, on the face of it, much more 'extreme' and possibly less 'pleasant' than might be imagined (I have no idea as I've never actually done either). And yet one of those things, to me, is well outside my comfort zone while the other is merely towards the edge of it.
I'm not entirely sure why that is though... on the face of it I think it's because I think sissification would alter how Mistress R views me outside of kink. So it's not that I find it particularly abhorrent in itself, but I worry that the knock on effects would be negative... on the other hand, I think the worst that indulging in watersports would lead to would be for Mistress to consider me a bit 'weird', which she probably does anyway, so no harm done then, hahaha.
At the same time, I have no massive burning to desire to do it, it's just... one of those things that is more about 'power' than the act itself, so it appeals to me as an act of 'submission' rather than anything else. However, I know Mistress R does not like the idea of watersports at all, so it's rather unlikely in any case.
Of course it's not lost on me that sissification is very much an act of submission too, but I think a lot of guys would share my views on this, and I think it stems from early 'programming' that men who dress in women's clothing are likely to be 'gay', whereas people who get off on being pissed on are just perverts, and most* heterosexual men would rather be considered 'perverted' than 'gay' (which is kind of ironic considering the things I posted the day before yesterday...).
Then there's the things that confuse the hell out of me. On the face of it, being kicked in the balls is definitely not cool, and yet, I have seen whole forums dedicated to it, and the thought of it does sometimes turn me on (in a Femdom setting). But there's degrees isn't there. I mean I would be quite happy for Mistress R to kick me gently (taps of the foot, in effect), but if she starts taking a run up, well that's time to call a halt to it I feel!
The same goes for paddling and the like. Mistress R has pretty much already found my limit for pain and yet many people, probably even many of you reading this, would regard my limit as pitifully low by their own standards. When I see bottoms that have been caned I wince, even though I know the person that has been on the receiving end has probably loved it, like they say, it's different strokes for different folks.
Perhaps looking in the other direction, many pain sluts and sissies would gasp in horror at the thought of being denied orgasm for extended periods? You can just imagine their voices 'How could you do that?', says the man with the raised welts across his backside, the crocodile clips hanging off his nipples and his make up smeared across his face where his Mistress has rode his tongue to orgasm...
So one man's meat really is another man's poison, and so we learn to tolerate other people's kinks, even if we know deep down that they are not for us. Isn't it a shame the world isn't run by 'perverts', everything would be so much easier!

* unverified of course, I have no way of knowing that this is true.

How far is too far...

Don't worry, I'm not about to tread on anyone's toes here, this post is just about my own personal limits and what I think is reasonable and what is not. If you disagree that's fine, I make no judgements about your personal opinions and levels of kink, however this for me, is one example of going too far...

You know, back in the day I remember my old Dad saying to me, "Son," he said. "When your bollocks are by your knees, you've gone to far.. "
Okay, he didn't really say that. But that's a hell of a picture isn't it? Fucking hell. I mean, I'm all for ball stretching (especially if like me you are what my doctor described as a 'very high rider'), maybe a couple of inches so that you can comfortably wear a chastity device, but that really is taking things too far. I'm not too keen on the piercing either, actually... but that's another debate.
So anyway, I was thinking about things I've done, things I haven't done, things I'd like to do, things I definitely don't want to do and things that confuse me because they turn me on even though I'm not sure why! Of course, when you think of things like that, you end up ranking your levels of perversion and someone else might look at that and say (for example) I can't believe you wouldn't wear women's pants but you would let your Mistress pee in your mouth!
Which is a perfectly reasonable argument, one is completely and utterly harmless, painless and really not that big a deal, whereas the other one is harmless, painless but, on the face of it, much more 'extreme' and possibly less 'pleasant' than might be imagined (I have no idea as I've never actually done either). And yet one of those things, to me, is well outside my comfort zone while the other is merely towards the edge of it.
I'm not entirely sure why that is though... on the face of it I think it's because I think sissification would alter how Mistress R views me outside of kink. So it's not that I find it particularly abhorrent in itself, but I worry that the knock on effects would be negative... on the other hand, I think the worst that indulging in watersports would lead to would be for Mistress to consider me a bit 'weird', which she probably does anyway, so no harm done then, hahaha.
At the same time, I have no massive burning to desire to do it, it's just... one of those things that is more about 'power' than the act itself, so it appeals to me as an act of 'submission' rather than anything else. However, I know Mistress R does not like the idea of watersports at all, so it's rather unlikely in any case.
Of course it's not lost on me that sissification is very much an act of submission too, but I think a lot of guys would share my views on this, and I think it stems from early 'programming' that men who dress in women's clothing are likely to be 'gay', whereas people who get off on being pissed on are just perverts, and most* heterosexual men would rather be considered 'perverted' than 'gay' (which is kind of ironic considering the things I posted the day before yesterday...).
Then there's the things that confuse the hell out of me. On the face of it, being kicked in the balls is definitely not cool, and yet, I have seen whole forums dedicated to it, and the thought of it does sometimes turn me on (in a Femdom setting). But there's degrees isn't there. I mean I would be quite happy for Mistress R to kick me gently (taps of the foot, in effect), but if she starts taking a run up, well that's time to call a halt to it I feel!
The same goes for paddling and the like. Mistress R has pretty much already found my limit for pain and yet many people, probably even many of you reading this, would regard my limit as pitifully low by their own standards. When I see bottoms that have been caned I wince, even though I know the person that has been on the receiving end has probably loved it, like they say, it's different strokes for different folks.
Perhaps looking in the other direction, many pain sluts and sissies would gasp in horror at the thought of being denied orgasm for extended periods? You can just imagine their voices 'How could you do that?', says the man with the raised welts across his backside, the crocodile clips hanging off his nipples and his make up smeared across his face where his Mistress has rode his tongue to orgasm...
So one man's meat really is another man's poison, and so we learn to tolerate other people's kinks, even if we know deep down that they are not for us. Isn't it a shame the world isn't run by 'perverts', everything would be so much easier!

* unverified of course, I have no way of knowing that this is true.

How far is too far...

Don't worry, I'm not about to tread on anyone's toes here, this post is just about my own personal limits and what I think is reasonable and what is not. If you disagree that's fine, I make no judgements about your personal opinions and levels of kink, however this for me, is one example of going too far...

You know, back in the day I remember my old Dad saying to me, "Son," he said. "When your bollocks are by your knees, you've gone to far.. "
Okay, he didn't really say that. But that's a hell of a picture isn't it? Fucking hell. I mean, I'm all for ball stretching (especially if like me you are what my doctor described as a 'very high rider'), maybe a couple of inches so that you can comfortably wear a chastity device, but that really is taking things too far. I'm not too keen on the piercing either, actually... but that's another debate.
So anyway, I was thinking about things I've done, things I haven't done, things I'd like to do, things I definitely don't want to do and things that confuse me because they turn me on even though I'm not sure why! Of course, when you think of things like that, you end up ranking your levels of perversion and someone else might look at that and say (for example) I can't believe you wouldn't wear women's pants but you would let your Mistress pee in your mouth!
Which is a perfectly reasonable argument, one is completely and utterly harmless, painless and really not that big a deal, whereas the other one is harmless, painless but, on the face of it, much more 'extreme' and possibly less 'pleasant' than might be imagined (I have no idea as I've never actually done either). And yet one of those things, to me, is well outside my comfort zone while the other is merely towards the edge of it.
I'm not entirely sure why that is though... on the face of it I think it's because I think sissification would alter how Mistress R views me outside of kink. So it's not that I find it particularly abhorrent in itself, but I worry that the knock on effects would be negative... on the other hand, I think the worst that indulging in watersports would lead to would be for Mistress to consider me a bit 'weird', which she probably does anyway, so no harm done then, hahaha.
At the same time, I have no massive burning to desire to do it, it's just... one of those things that is more about 'power' than the act itself, so it appeals to me as an act of 'submission' rather than anything else. However, I know Mistress R does not like the idea of watersports at all, so it's rather unlikely in any case.
Of course it's not lost on me that sissification is very much an act of submission too, but I think a lot of guys would share my views on this, and I think it stems from early 'programming' that men who dress in women's clothing are likely to be 'gay', whereas people who get off on being pissed on are just perverts, and most* heterosexual men would rather be considered 'perverted' than 'gay' (which is kind of ironic considering the things I posted the day before yesterday...).
Then there's the things that confuse the hell out of me. On the face of it, being kicked in the balls is definitely not cool, and yet, I have seen whole forums dedicated to it, and the thought of it does sometimes turn me on (in a Femdom setting). But there's degrees isn't there. I mean I would be quite happy for Mistress R to kick me gently (taps of the foot, in effect), but if she starts taking a run up, well that's time to call a halt to it I feel!
The same goes for paddling and the like. Mistress R has pretty much already found my limit for pain and yet many people, probably even many of you reading this, would regard my limit as pitifully low by their own standards. When I see bottoms that have been caned I wince, even though I know the person that has been on the receiving end has probably loved it, like they say, it's different strokes for different folks.
Perhaps looking in the other direction, many pain sluts and sissies would gasp in horror at the thought of being denied orgasm for extended periods? You can just imagine their voices 'How could you do that?', says the man with the raised welts across his backside, the crocodile clips hanging off his nipples and his make up smeared across his face where his Mistress has rode his tongue to orgasm...
So one man's meat really is another man's poison, and so we learn to tolerate other people's kinks, even if we know deep down that they are not for us. Isn't it a shame the world isn't run by 'perverts', everything would be so much easier!

* unverified of course, I have no way of knowing that this is true.

Last chance...

Last night I took my last chance to ask permission to touch my cock, since if I am allowed to cum on Saturday I don't want to have wasted any. Mistress sad I could, but that I had to wait for the minute to change on the projection clock on the ceiling. While we waited she held my hard cock and then when the minute changed she let go and I took over, stroking it hard and soft as she talked to me.

MR "Does that feel good?"
RA "Yes"

MR "But not as good as when I touch it?"
RA "No Mistress..."

MR "You must be really struggling now, are you sure you can wait..."
RA "I'll wait as long as you want me to Mistress."

MR "Think about how good it's going to feel when I finally let you cum, whenever that may be..."

She never told me how long I was going to get but I figured it would be three minutes again and I was right. When the clock hit three minutes she told me to stop and then she stroked me a few times before kissing me goodnight and leaving me breathing heavily, but so, so happy.
I still, deep down, believe that she will let me cum on Saturday, despite the poll and my assurances that I will wait as long as she wants me to. But I hope (and do think) that she is starting to gain confidence that she doesn't have to if she doesn't want to....